This is a blog about self-love.
If you scan around this space, you will consistently see me ramble on and on about loving yourself, how to achieve wellness, and every topic about achieving personal happiness.
And if you’ll ever meet me personally, I’m already warning you that you’ll be getting unsolicited advice from me to get your self-care on. (Don’t be too hard on yourself, dear. Do some yoga to clear your head. Don’t forget to burn those essential oils while you do – those kinda stuff.)
I’m so obsessed with self-love for so many important reasons, which I will elaborate more on in a moment.
But before you get the wrong idea, let me first clarify that the self-love that I’m talking about is not that of selfishness, entitlement and narcissism. Those things are results of insecurities and fears – totally the opposite of love. I’m talking about the purest and healthiest form of love. You know, the kind that makes the world a lighter and happier place.
My journey towards loving myself was a complete accident.
6 years ago, the concept of self-love was foreign to me. I’d been hearing about it a lot but didn’t really absorb what it meant.
Until came the worst days of my life.
From a very loving and supportive environment, I was suddenly forced to live in a space where love was absent.
I was miserable, depressed, traumatized and all that depressing shit. All the outside source of love that I had before was suddenly taken away from me. I hit rock bottom without any warning.
My first reaction was that the universe might be punishing me. And the suddenness of the events left me no room to think and made me go straight to panicking completely.
I had the impulse to do self-destructive behaviors. I wanted to smoke, to drink, to binge-eat, to have sex with anyone I meet, and to kill myself – anything that would help stop the pain.
But luckily, before I had the chance to destroy myself, I heard a voice calling out to me – a voice that I already heard before but wasn’t able to hear because of too much outside noise. Only this time, I was able to hear the call because I was finally surrounded by silence.
The voice was my higher self.
She told me to stop, surrender everything, and just be still. I decided to listen, because it’s either that or I kill myself.
After listening to that call, came the craziest adventure to my self-discovery, healing, and manifestation.
What happens when you start loving yourself?
When this crazy journey started, I didn’t know what I’ll be getting myself into. I only realized the crazy stuff that happened once I finally received the clear message.
When you start this journey, so many magic things will happen. Your view of yourself changes, and the world responds to that new image you have created of yourself.
You stop tolerating shit from entering your life
A lot of people don’t realize this but we constantly allow people, things, and events to enter our lives that would later on harm or hurt us because we have no standards to base it from.
But if you let yourself experience the real love you truly are worthy of, you will no longer accept things that makes you feel like crap. And when you stop accepting crap from entering your life, you create more space for amazing people, things and opportunities that truly matter – the ones worthy of your time and energy.
You stop needing outside validation
I used to always think about what society will think about me. I constantly want to be liked. I don’t wanna be criticized too. I just wanna please people. So I’d just hide myself and my work because I was afraid that people will think that I suck and that I’m a fraud.
But that holds me back from showing up as my true self, and from giving my special gift to the world.
If you love yourself, you seriously won’t give a fuck what anyone thinks about you anymore. You know you are worthy to be seen, you’re worthy to shine and you don’t want to rob the world of the gifts that you are meant to give to the world.
You love yourself, you become a magnet to more love
We live in a universe where we magnet to us what is within us. We manifest into our reality what thoughts and emotions are inside us. Thoughts and emotions radiate. If you have self-hate in you, people will feel it, and you will be an energetic match to people who will treat you like crap.
No wonder I met my ex who treated me badly – he simply mirrored what I felt inside.
When I decided to love myself, I attracted people who wants to love me truly. (And I get to marry the most amazing human being I’ve met.)
You start pursuing the things that your higher self truly craves for
When you love yourself, you start to prioritize knowing your deepest desires and take action about it. You start to figure out what truly matters to you, and you create a life with these foundation, because nothing is more important to you than making your soul happy.
You deal with your challenges the right way
You will no longer self-destruct when setbacks happen. Or when you’re tempted to, you will still choose to be kinder to yourself. Problems will be easier to deal with. Self-love will serve as your armor. You will no longer feel alone.
There will be times when you will be in pain because life happens, and no one might be there to acknowledge that pain and to understand you. But if you have this deep relationship with yourself, you will get through those phases so much easier.
You bring light to the world
If you have love within you, it will radiate to the world. Because you have so much love within you, you’ll have so much love to share.
And the world is so hungry for people who can share the love.
You become a strong manifestor of your dreams
And this is for me by far how self-love made the biggest impact in my life. When you love yourself, you become a strong magnet to what you want. Because love is the emotion with the highest frequency of all, you become better at manifesting.
Truly powerful stuff.
How does one truly love herself?
There are so many ways we can show love for ourselves. For me, the act of self-love involves practicing these 5 things, and I talk a lot about these things here in my blog:
It might seem obvious, but for most people (including the me), it’s not. Knowing who you are and your deepest desires is an act of love because it allows you to love yourself in the best ways possible by giving yourself what you truly need. Think about it. How do you give someone the love he needs if you don’t know who he is and what he needs?
I remember 6 years ago, I had no clue what I wanted to do with my life. The reality is that, I didn’t even take the time to know who I really am and what my soul’s deepest desires are. The reason why I had no direction was because I was so focused outwardly, instead of looking within. I was too focused with what my parents, my friends, and the society will think about me. I didn’t take the time to listen to what my heart truly speaks for.
And the moment I decided to truly prioritize my wants and needs, to truly discover who I am and what mission I was to do in this world, everything started to shift.
Most people want to be different, but very few want to be real. And I think that comes from the place of not accepting our true self.
Loving yourself means not only accepting yourself wholly, but actually be so in love and be so obsessed with who you are, flaws and all, without conditions. Nobody should be proud and in awe of you more than yourself.
Kindness is very basic, yet we don’t often give this to ourselves. It’s very easy for us to be kind to other people, yet a lot of us treat ourselves like crap. We always tend to criticize ourselves. We set ourselves too much expectations based on what we see outside, and if we don’t meet them, we would hate ourselves. We’re too unforgiving and we often compare ourselves to other people, and feel not enough.
Hey. We too deserve the kindness that we give other people.
Self-care is all about knowing your needs physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually and fulfilling them so you can show up everyday as your best self. That’s because you deserve to feel good and you deserve to be nourished everyday.
Growing into the person who you’re meant to be means you don’t deprive yourself of receiving the best things in life that you truly deserve – that’s an act of love. You are worthy of a great and meaningful life. You deserve to grow into the person that your higher self wants you to be.
For me, practicing these 5 things created a massive shift in my happiness and overall well-being. They helped me have a clear sense of direction of where I truly wanna go, and go for it. They helped me to live my truth and to always access my higher self instead of my earth self. And I bet you that if you start practicing these things in your life, you will create magic in your life too.
I hope you allow yourself to receive this love now, because you are worthy of love.