If you’re a regular visitor of my blog, you already know that I had a difficult past.
If not, let me describe what that looks like to you.
Picture living with a drug addict father and a helpless angry mom who screams at each other everyday.
Then there’s you, carrying all this feelings of guilt, shame, anger, resentment, pain, and all the negative emotions that you’ve cultivated from the traumatic events that happened to you in the past. Add to that the fact that you’re poor as fuck (the third world kind).
This scenario is stating it lightly.
Living with difficult people, especially when they’re people you love, exposes you to negativity every day. It locks you in that focus of doom, forcing you to believe that nothing is good in life and that suffering is only what’s available.
And you might know how I feel. You might have experienced the same situation I had, or perhaps a completely different scenario but the struggle you felt is the same, or maybe worse.
Maybe you encounter people who are dragging you down on a daily basis – maybe they’re your friends, your colleagues, your family or maybe even your partner (which I can imagine would suck so bad) – and you find it too difficult to stay positive because the elephant is just too hard to ignore.
So what do you do in circumstances like that? How do you keep your vibe high so you can stay in alignment with your dreams and manifest them faster? How do you deal with energy vampires?
As I’ve mentioned, I’ve been there, and I experienced living in an extremely toxic environment, and luckily, there are some things you can do to not get dragged into the negativity rabbit hole. I’ll share with you things that I did that helped me stay aligned. I’ll be honest, they can be challenging to do, but if you’re consistent enough and you’re really committed to raising your vibe and manifesting your dreams, you’re life will change for the better.
(Update: My dad finally started his journey towards healing and is now back on his feet working as a seafarer. I live in a big house now near the mountains and the city, with my wonderful husband. It’s not my dream home yet, but we’re getting there.)
Fill your spirit with so much positivity.
You just gotta do what you gotta do. I remember drowning myself with books, videos and audios about positivity, motivation, success and spirituality. I would join online mastermind groups and they would constantly remind me of the limitless possibilities in the universe. There are so many positive people in the world, you just gotta find them.
I’d also attend different spiritual connect groups to receive love from the higher power and from other people. Yep. Feeding your soul the nourishment it needs is key.
It didn’t matter to me then what religion they were. As long as they filled me spiritual food, they helped.
You can listen to Hillsong or Trevor Hall. Read about Buddhism. Anything that has God, spirit, source or universe in it would help.
You can attend seminars, and enroll in courses so you’re surrounded by positive people.
No idea where to find your soul food? You can hang out here in my blog! I made this space to share with you my stories of self-discovery, enlightenment, manifestation, and high-vibin’. I’ll be here to be your companion towards your journey of manifesting your dream life. I’ll be here to validate what you’re feeling and what you’re going through, and I’ll try my best to make your life a little lighter. Browse around my blog and take as much mind and soul food as you can get. I created a lot of free resources for you, so you can start living a happier and more fulfilled life today.
Be extra strict with doing your manifesting exercises.
While it’s true that there are so many negative things going on in your life at the moment, there are actually more amazing things happening – you just can’t see them because of that cloud of negativity above your head!
That’s why it’s very important to be extra vigilant with your thoughts and vibrations in moments like this, and have extra willpower to do all your manifesting exercises.
Believe it or not, this is, in fact, a huge positive occurrence in your life. It was the best opportunity to master your mindset and self-awareness. Think about this. If I wasn’t in that toxic situation, I won’t be working extra harder on my mindset. I was able to master myself because I was pushed into it.
Be more aware of your thoughts. Be aware when you’re thinking something negative, and shift your thoughts. Practice being a reverse paranoid. Focus on the lesson that you’re gaining in this pain. Write your gratitude list twice a day. Affirm twice a day. Double everything.
If you’re the type who doesn’t have a system to manifest, that you would sometimes forget doing it (which obviously sabotages your manifestation process) I created a journal/planner for you to help you keep your manifesting and self-care exercises on track. This is the high vibe journal that you need. Click here to see more.
When you get triggered by these energy-suckers, be aware when it happens, and try to train your mind to reframe the situation and turn it into a good thought.
And I know what you’re thinking. This isn’t easy! That’s why my next tip is…
Release your bad emotions too.
Listen, woman. Your heart has very limited space.
If it’s filled up with negative emotions and you try to fill it up with positive ones when obviously there’s no more room for it to occupy, your chest will explode. So you gotta release those negative emotions too.
Do some emotional decluttering and forgiveness exercises. You’ll immediately feel lighter.
Spend less time with them if you can.
For me, that meant staying in my room, putting my headsets on and escaping into a reality in the future I created in my head.
Other times it would be sleeping.
Or maybe, I would read a book, watch some movie or do something fun.
If I have money, I would definitely go out and visit other family or friends. Or hang out at a high vibe cafe at the mall.
It’s important that you spend 80% of your waking time being positive. Go out with your friends, or stay later outside after school/work.
And when you do these things, try to focus your attention on the positive present moment that’s happening.
There were times before, where I would hang out with friends but still worry about what’s happening at home, that I would fail to enjoy the time with friends. So I intentionally train my mind to stay present, and absorb the positivity.
This kind of act will create a momentum of positivity that will make you attract more of it, and will then raise your vibe.
Keep believing and praying that everything will be better in time.
This is very important. There’ll be times when you’ll get so exhausted of trying to be positive and of believing that things will change for the better, when there’s little proof that you’re seeing.
But that’s far from the truth. What’s really happening is that, the universe is working for things to unfold. It always does! Don’t cut the manifestation by giving up.
As for me, I would spent only months in my parents’ house (I was constantly saving money and leaving home, then returning to try to save them, then repeat – which never really worked because you can’t really help people who aren’t willing to be helped), and I would always get impatient and doubt whether the universe is really doing its job. Of course, I want change to happen overnight.
Yet now when I think of it, things changed a lot in only a span of few short months. But back then, I felt like nothing was happening. I was so drowned in my worries that I would often fail to trust. But the universe ALWAYS proved me wrong, and here I am in a far better state than where I was before, and my life keeps getting better.
And it will for you too. Just keep believing and keep praying. I understand that worrying is easier because it’s what’s comfortable, but if you’re willing to have faith, your life will unfold. Faith is your greatest weapon in times like this.
Create a plan for leaving that toxic place for good.
I had to be very serious with manifesting my dream life, and I know I cannot align to my dreams if I live in a constant state of struggle to be positive every single day. I had to move out eventually. And I did. And I can say that it’s the best decision I made.
Leaving that space of negativity is the best step that you can do, not only for yourself, but also for the difficult person you live with. You may feel guilty for doing this, because you might think that if you stay, you might be able to do something to help them change, but really, it’s not a good idea. Why?
One, you cannot change someone unless they had taken the initiative to ask for your help. I’ve done it before (I spent years trying to change my parents’ minds and only ended up demoralized. Then one day, I finally heard the universe’s message telling me that there’s nothing I could do about it because change has to come from them. And it did! They’re currently working on their healing, and they were the ones who took the first step. ❤) Your time and energy is best used for aligning yourself to your goals. And as you do, send the energy of love to them from afar. It always works.
Two, 2 miserable people together doesn’t make things any better – it just makes it worse. More negative vibrations means more bad things you’ll attract. You’ll also end up hurting each other more. Don’t let the pain get too deep and damaging that you’ll end up resenting each other forever.
Three, the person might change when you leave (no guarantees here, but it’s worth a shot). Give them the space to reflect about their lives. You’re doing them a favor.
And lastly, you’ll be able to align yourself faster, which means you’ll be able to manifest your dreams faster, and you’ll be more capable and equipped to help them rise up too (in case you plan on doing that).
Love them from a distance, heal yourself, and pursue your goals. It’s the best thing you can do.
Remember, you are precious. You deserve people who will love you and will treat you right. Start valuing yourself now, and focus all your energy in surrounding your life with love. Relationships shouldn’t be that hard. They shouldn’t cause you to suffer. Fill your life with only loving relationships. You deserve to be loved.