Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.
– Lucille Ball
We always hear people say that we should love ourselves, and I totally agree that it’s the best advice ever.
In fact, I talk a lot about why it is important and what impact it can bring to us and the world, but the real question is, how do we really do it? How does one begin her journey to self-love?
In my journey, how I must love myself didn’t came too obvious. It’s only when I learned the lessons that I realized, this is what healthy love feels like. From what I experienced, here are some of the ways you can do to give yourself more love.
Spend more time with yourself.
When you spend more time alone, you give yourself the chance to get to know who you really are on a deeper level. You get to know what truly excites you, what things make you miserable, and you get to master yourself through this.
And when you master who you are, you know what to accept and what not to allow in your life.
Travel on your own. Go on hikes. Watch a movie. Dine out while reading a book. Do any activity alone that you normally do with someone. Or you could join groups where you know no one.
This allows you to be comfortable in your own company. It’s your chance to show yourself the love that you truly deserve. And once you experience this feeling of being 100% accepted and loved by someone (which in this case is you), you will no longer tolerate people who make you feel like crap. You would rather be alone than accept BS from entering your life.
The reality is, a lot of people are not comfortable being on their own because they think they need other people’s approval and validation before they become acceptable or loveable.
The truth is, it’s the other way around. You have to accept yourself and give the love you need to yourself first, and the world will mirror how you feel about yourself. That’s the only way you will attract more love in your life.
In the past, I was forced to spend time with myself a lot. I couldn’t take the pain any longer, so I left home, feeling lost and uncertain of what’s coming. In the process, I found myself living on my own, finding happiness with my own company, and falling in love with myself.
It was the most liberating and loving feeling ever.
Now, I still crave for spending time on my own. Even though I have a husband and I can always invite my friends to hang out with me, I still look forward to dates with myself, just because we (me, myself and I) have a lot of fun!
A lot of us carry with us negative feelings toward ourselves. We hate ourselves for being not good enough and for not being the person we want to be, we carry around guilt for the mistakes we did in the past that harmed or hurt us, and so many other negative feelings.
Before you can start living a more blissful life, you have to let go of any negative emotion you feel towards yourself so you can create more space for love to enter your life. That begins with forgiving yourself.
Don’t you think we’re just being too hard on ourselves? I’m pretty sure all of us are trying our best. Mistakes are inevitable and a part of our life. We are always deserving of forgiveness.
Declutter your life
Decluttering your life means creating space for better things, habits and people to enter our lives. It means you’re now ready to let go of all the crap that you allowed in your life in the past.
Declutter your life of the stuff, people, emotions, habits and media – anything that we allow in our lives – that no longer spark joy, so you can focus your energy more on the things that truly matter.
Know your deepest desires and create a plan to go after it
I totally believe that every soul here on earth has a purpose, and one of our missions is to know what we are called to do here in this world.
I believe that I was called to help eradicate unhappiness, emptiness and unfulfillment in this world through introducing people to self-love and manifestation. I realized that was my life’s mission after experiencing a lot of pain and suffering for years. I realized that what I went through in the past, and the wisdom I cultivated that helped me with my healing will be beneficial to a lot of people who need it.
Start your journey figuring out your deepest desires. Reflect on your past experiences. What problems you are willing to solve in this world with the gifts that you have?
Nourish your mind, body and soul
Nourishing your mind, body and soul is a way to show care for yourself everyday. It also helps you to feel good – which means you’ll be a stronger magnet to your desires.
Read more books that causes a positive shift in your mindset and less books that cause you unhappiness, guilt and fears. Show love for your body by exercising more and eating healthier. Add more laughter and positivity in your life to nourish your spirit.
What are the things that make you feel good in a healthy way? Do more of that.
Accepting yourself means you’re choosing to show up as your true self, flaws and all. It means loving every bit of you, even your weak points. It means not hiding your imperfections and embodying your truth.
There’s magic in accepting yourself wholly. There’s magic in allowing yourself to be the person that is inside you. You are not meant to be perfect. You are meant to be your true self. The universe made you this way for a bigger purpose.
Choose to be kinder to yourself
Sometimes, we often fall into the downward spiral of criticizing and hating on ourselves. Why do we do this, really?
Start being kind to yourself by replacing negative self-talk with positive self-talk. Be more encouraging and supportive instead of critical. Be more patient and forgiving of yourself than pushy. Focus more on your strengths than your weakness. Give credit to your efforts. Again, we both know that you are trying your best. Start appreciating that.
Reclaim your power
A lot of us are not aware of the power that we have. The thing is, the only reason we feel powerless is because we give away our power to what’s outside of us. We give away our power to other people’s opinions, our bosses, our friends, our partners. We give away our power to our addiction to food, attention, money, recognition, and so many other things that we drain ourselves in the process.
Always remember, the only power anything or anyone has over you is the power you give them.
Set better boundaries
Learning how to say no will change your life. Start creating boundaries and letting people know about them. Know what you will accept, and what you will not. Know when to stand your ground and call off any bullshit.
You are worthy of respect, kindness and love. Always remember that.
Let go of bad ways that are harming you
Let go of any self-destructive behaviors. Let go of any addiction that you have. Let go of thinking negatively towards other people. Let go of criticism. Let go of comparing your life to other people’s.
And once you’d let go, you can start accepting more things that will make your life better.
Commit to growth
Show up as your true self, but admit to yourself that you are not perfect, and you are a work in progress. You make mistakes at times. You sometimes function with your ego on the lead instead of your higher self.
Commit to growing into a better you everyday. Commit to aligning yourself to the person that you are meant to be to be able to do your mission in this world.
Connect to the source to get your supply of love
Here’s the truth: you are a soul inside an earth body. You have a higher self connected to the higher power (a.k.a. God, universe, source – whatever you wanna call that bigger thing out there) that you can get your supply of love from.
The truth is, we are all hungry for love, and the only way to stop that hunger is to fill that emptiness with love. Problem happens when we tend to fill that emptiness with food, social media, sex, cigarettes, liquors, drugs and anything that give us temporary high.
Instead of filling your life with these things that cause you harm than good, know that you can always fill yourself up with love from the source. Learn to pray and meditate. It’s how you can connect to it.
Loving yourself is an adventure. Be patient and enjoy the process, love. 🌸